Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Now, if I'd known they'd line up just to see him,

We went to the King Tutankhamun exhibit at the LA County Museum of Art (LACMA) tonight, and as glitzy exhibitions that charge too much for tickets and have convoluted entry methods go, it was a success.

I saw Tut on his first and only previous world tour in 1978, and he didn't disappoint. Some old material, some never before presented to American audiences, and tickets were only(?) $25 through Ticketmaster (bastards!).

But the audience has changed, some might say, matured. Tonight it was a show for and about parents, and their kids. Kids that pouted and fought. Infants that squawked and cried. Parents that talked on prohibited cell phones while their darlings fought like soccer hooligans having just sung the last verse of "You'll Never Walk Alone."

In short, what the hell is wrong with people? No infant will be edified and uplifted by seeing Tut's Canopic Jars. No 4 year old will relate unless Sponge Bob is somehow included in the show. And no adult ought to have to listen to screaming babies at a museum.

Call me intolerant. Today's parents feel it's their God given right, even duty, to parade their progeny to the world as if they alone had somehow been given the gift of procreation. Their spawn must be catered to, included in everything, and their every bowel movement bronzed and mounted on a marble block.

I'm sorry I don't feel that way. Adults have earned the right to some experiences and events without the distraction that otherwise lovely kids become. I won't suddenly stand up in the middle of a nice restaurant and start singing Pokemon songs. I won't loudly ask my sib why they are such a dork. I won't cut between other folks simply because I'm smaller. And I won't bring my kids (had I any) to places where they would annoy others by behaving similarly.

So next time, leave yours at home too. It'll be much more peaceful that way. Speaking for King Tut, we appreciate it.