Money don't get everything it's true, What it don't get I can't use

The despicable sack of crap formerly known as America's Mayor™ has finally descended fully into Hell:

Rudy Giuliani is positioning his law firm to cash in on Wall Street's train wreck - a move that has become a gift to political enemies of his pal John McCain.

Even as the nation's $700 billion, taxpayer-funded Wall Street bailout was still being hashed out, the former mayor announced Thursday his high-powered law firm has set up a task force.
Its mission: to help corporate clients get a piece of the action - or keep the federal wolves from the door.

"Our team of former government officials and experienced attorneys in the fields of legislation, enforcement and finance are equipped to guide institutions in this quickly evolving and complex environment," Giuliani noted in a press release from his law firm, Bracewell & Giuliani.
Giuliani is not the only one poised to profit from opportunities created by the mega-meltdown, but he is the most politically famous.

Giuliani is a prime surrogate for Republican McCain, who has called the economic meltdown "the greatest crisis since the end of World War II" and has assailed Wall Street for "unbridled greed."

Unbridled greed? He should know:

Members of Giuliani's task force will include a number of Bracewell & Giuliani employees with deep connections to Washington in general and the Bush White House in particular.

They include Marc Mukasey, a former federal prosecutor in Manhattan and the son of U.S. Attorney General Michael Mukasey.

The elder Mukasey is one of Giuliani's closest friends and, as a federal judge, swore in Giuliani at both his mayoral inaugurations.

Another task force member will be Robert Clarke, a one-time director of the Resolution Trust Corp. - the government-owned outfit set up in the wake the last major government bailout, the savings and loan crisis of the 1980s, to sell off assets.
Bracewell & Giuliani spokeswoman Melanie Hillis declined to say how much the firm would be charging.

Top-shelf firms like Bracewell & Giuliani routinely charge corporate clients fees topping $800 an hour for every senior lawyer's time - or a commission based on the value of transactions that could reach billions of dollars.

Entrenched operators, cashing in on their connections. That's the American entreprenurial spirit.

Bastards.

I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher

The Cloverfield Monster revealed...

ESTERO, Fla. - Rudy Giuliani's make-or-break state appears to be breaking him. Two new polls released yesterday show the GOP primary hopeful's support plummeting among Florida voters, despite concentrating his campaign here with a whirlwind of campaign stops, a heap of advertising and position shifts in support of state causes. A Miami Herald poll of 800 Republican voters showed Giuliani's one-time lead of 33 percent had plummeted to 15 percent. The survey conducted Jan. 20-21 had him tied for third place with Mike Huckabee. John McCain leads with 25 percent, followed by Mitt Romney, with 22 percent.
One pollster called the results "devastating.""A funny thing happened on the way to Rudy's victory lap," said Kellyanne Conway of The Polling Company in Washington. "The more time he's spent in Florida the worse he's done."

Well, that's never a good sign... the more people see and hear from a candidate and the more they know about him, the LESS they want him. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaa!!! Stick a fork in Mr. 9-11... he's done. I'm sure he'll be following Mr. "Da-DUMMM!!!" Law and Order out the door soon.

[graphic by Dancin' Dave]

And can you hear the sound of hysteria?

(image by darkblack; genius as usual)

Mark Steyn wrote an editorial last week that has been pretty well trashed around the liberal bloggersphere, wherein he says:

Rudy Giuliani was a brilliant can-do executive who transformed the fortunes of what was supposedly one of the most ungovernable cities in the nation. But on guns, abortion and almost every other social issue he's anathema to much of the party. Mike Huckabee is an impeccable social conservative but, fiscally speaking, favors big-government solutions with big-government price tags. Ron Paul has a long track record of sustained philosophically coherent support for small government but he's running as a neo-isolationist on war and foreign policy. John McCain believes in assertive American global leadership but he believes just as strongly in constitutional abominations like McCain-Feingold.

So if you're a pro-gun anti-abortion tough-on-crime victory-in-Iraq small-government Republican the 2008 selection is a tough call. Mitt Romney, the candidate whose (current) policies least offend the most people, happens to be a Mormon, which, if the media are to be believed, poses certain obstacles for elements of the Christian right.

The Giuliani adulation seems somehow misplaced, now, doesn't it? I mean, take this:

In almost every appearance as he campaigns for the Republican presidential nomination, Rudolph W. Giuliani cites a fusillade of statistics and facts to make his arguments about his successes in running New York City and the merits of his views.

Discussing his crime-fighting success as mayor, Mr. Giuliani told a television interviewer that New York was “the only city in America that has reduced crime every single year since 1994.” In New Hampshire this week, he told a public forum that when he became mayor in 1994, New York “had been averaging like 1,800, 1,900 murders for almost 30 years.” When a recent Republican debate turned to the question of fiscal responsibility, he boasted that “under me, spending went down by 7 percent.”

All of these statements are incomplete, exaggerated or just plain wrong. And while, to be sure, all candidates use misleading statistics from time to time, Mr. Giuliani has made statistics a central part of his candidacy as he campaigns on his record.

(note: emphasis mine)

Well then. And on the rest of the candidates, this is just how devoid the current Republican Party is of not only ideas but ideals.

Take Huckabee and his personal 'Willie Horton':

Huckabee has also come under criticism for his handling of the case of Wayne Dumond, a convicted rapist who was released during Huckabee's governorship and who subsequently sexually assaulted and murdered a woman in Missouri.[77] Dumond's case had attracted national attention in the mid 1990s from critics of President Bill Clinton who felt the former Arkansas Governor had been too harsh with Dumond because Dumond's victim was a distant Clinton relative.

Even before taking office, Huckabee met with Dumond's wife and privately announced his intention that Dumond be set free, stating his unhappiness with the way Clinton had handled the case.[78] Dumond was castrated prior to his trial; he stated that he was attacked by two men in his home (though district prosecutor Gene Raff suggested it was a case of self-mutilation[79] and a urologist who'd studied the topic told the Forrest City Times-Herald that self-mutilation isn't that rare among psychologically disturbed sex offenders.[80])

On September 20, 1996, Huckabee publicly announced his intention of commuting Dumond's sentence based on the commutation given by Jim Guy Tucker, who had served as governor during Clinton's presidential run and had overseen the case.[81] There was strong opposition to Huckabee's plan, leaving Huckabee in a difficult situation politically.[77] On October 31, 1996, Huckabee met privately with the parole board to talk about the Dumond case. On January 16, 1997, Dumond was granted parole, just five months after he had been rejected.

Huckabee released a statement saying, "I concur with the board’s action and hope the lives of all those involved can move forward. The action of the board accomplishes what I sought to do in considering an earlier request for commutation ...In light of the action of the board, my original intent to commute the sentence to time served is no longer relevant."[77] His full disclosure of the incident is described in his book From Hope to Higher Ground.

Dumond had been sentenced to life in prison until 1992, when Tucker reduced the sentence to 39 1/2 years which made Dumond eligible for parole. The parole was granted on the condition that another state take him. Wayne Dumond moved to Kansas City in 2000 and was convicted there of sexually assaulting and murdering a woman that lived near his home. Wayne Dumond died in prison in 2005.

(emphasis mine)

Ron Paul is considered a crackpot by the war-firsters, even though as a Libertarian he has credentials that ought to endear him the the Right-wing of the party. Of course, the Right-wing of the party is as phony as a million dollar bill and courts large dollar donations and offers large dollar solutions in their quest for omnipotent power instead of the small government to which they pay lip service.

And McCain, as a serial flip-flopper and grudging GWBushCo sycophant, has gotten no real traction this time around. His cred was likely shot the last time around, and many consider him too old at this point.

Regardless, Giuliani, as the biggest chest-thumper and shouter, has the most to lose by his latest scandals, and it will be fun to watch his fall from grace. Between the Shag Fund story and the above smackdown of his statistical hackery, he's finally getting the attention he so richly deserves.

Bastard.

Is it a crime that I still want you, And I want you to want me too

The astonishing thing about the current Republican Party is their stubborn refusal to let go of the anvil pulling them to the bottom of the lake. They continue to own the very things that are destroying them, i.e. GWBush's 24% support for the war. Giuliani is only the latest example:

Rudy Giuliani said Monday that if his achievements as president are as good as the crime-reduction results of his New York police commissioner, a man now under criminal investigation himself, "this country will be in great shape."

Giuliani, in an interview with The Associated Press, acknowledged mistakes by Bernard Kerik, who was police commissioner when Giuliani was mayor. But he said crime reduction for the city was more important.

So crime reduction is more important than the Police Commioners' own alleged crime. Sounds like situational ethics, moral ambiguity and relativism, things that Right-singers always rail against:

All this should be quite clear, but there is one aspect of moral relativism that confuses many believers in Judeo-Christian moral absolutes. They assume that situational ethics is the same thing as moral relativism and therefore regard situational ethics as incompatible with Judeo-Christian morality. They mistakenly argue that just as allowing individuals to determine what is right and wrong negates moral absolutes, allowing situations to determine what is right and wrong also negates moral absolutes.

This is a misunderstanding of the meaning of moral absolutes. It means that if an act is good or bad, it is good or bad for everyone in the identical situation ("universal morality").

As usual, what Prager is saying is that if you do it, it's moral relativism. But if he does it, it's situational ethics. Either way it's still a human deciding what's right. How hard is that to understand?

And so what if Kerik is bent as a dog's hind leg, as long as he produces results, he's A-OK:

As for Kerik, Giuliani said, "It was a mistake not checking him out as thoroughly as I should have. ... I don't like surprises. I don't like to find out things that I haven't found out myself. Not that it hasn't happened to me before. But I try to tighten up the whole thing and make sure we do a better job in the future."

Federal prosecutors in New York have spent more than a year pursuing criminal charges against Kerik, reportedly including bribery, tax evasion, obstruction of justice, providing false information and conspiracy to eavesdrop. Kerik rejected a plea deal in the spring, but meetings have continued.

"I made mistakes. I will continue to make mistakes," Giuliani said. "But what are the results? What kind of results do I get? What Bernie Kerik did wrong did not implicate what the results were for the public. What he did wrong, he's going to have to pay for."

Bastards.

And I'm still so afraid

(image borrowed from the heretik)

It takes a real conservative to point out a phony one. Andrew Sullivan points out Giuliani's hysteria and fear-mongering:

Mark Steyn praises Rudy Giuliani for endorsing New Hampshire's state motto, "Live Free Or Die." I love the motto too. But isn't it exactly the opposite of what today's GOP stands for? The entire premise of Giuliani's positions is that, after 9/11, we should not live free in case we die. Last night, he spoke of two risible plots by total losers with no capability of doing serious damage as grave threats to America's survival. The Fort Dix goons and the JFK plotters are among the most pathetic, puny enemies this country has ever known. But Giuliani speaks of them as if they were the approach of global catastrophe - and he demands that Americans surrender their most precious liberties in order to remain safe from them. Live free or die? Giuliani's motto is: Live Under My Protection Or Die.

Indeed. And he smacks down the odious Steyn in the process. Andy continues:

The logic of today's GOP in the war on terror, moreover, is the inverse of New Hampshire's. In every choice of liberty versus security, the GOP now prefers security, without even publicly acknowledging the costs. And yet Mark Steyn sees no irony here. Do they really not see that their rhetoric on liberty is utterly hollow?

Here's what someone said about freedom a while ago:

Mr. President, it is natural to man to indulge in the illusions of hope. We are apt to shut our eyes against a painful truth, and listen to the song of that siren till she transforms us into beasts. Is this the part of wise men, engaged in a great and arduous struggle for liberty? Are we disposed to be of the numbers of those who, having eyes, see not, and, having ears, hear not, the things which so nearly concern their temporal salvation? For my part, whatever anguish of spirit it may cost, I am willing to know the whole truth, to know the worst, and to provide for it.

. . . Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death!

I'm pretty sure that Steyn, given the same choice, would opt for a medium-rare steak and a Coors lite. After all, freedom is hard work.

Dream yourself a dream come true

The Right-wing pundits sure know how to pour gas onto their own funeral pyre:

Of course, the big difference is that the Democrats don’t have a Ronald Reagan to take advantage of the situation. Nobody will ever confuse Hilliary’s (sic) shrill denunciations with the twinkle in the Gipper’s eye when he zinged an opponent. Nor will anyone fail to see the difference between the inspirational yet empty platitudes of Obama with Reagan’s soaring rhetoric that touched something so American in people’s souls.

Hillary is shrill. Dude, how do you react when your wife asks you to take out the garbage, do you call her shrill?

And the twinkle in the . . . dammit! Stop calling Reagan that movie name! He was an actor, a bad one at that. He did absolutely nothing to connect himself with anyone tough or brave, he was a f***ing actor!

The twinkle was acting, reading words written by Peggy Noonan, while he tried to feed school kids ketchup and erect a big umbrella to prevent the awful Ruskies from sending missles to attack us. Stop it, just stop it! Soaring rhetoric my ass.

I don't know about Obama yet, but he has a college education, has written books, and actually has thoughts that are deeper than "tear down this wall".

Look here at Democracy Now for some insight into Reagan's effect on California and working people while he was Governor, but that's not important right now.

Seriously, the Right's pining for another Reagan is just sad; a fantasy about a guy who can bankrupt the country, raise taxes with no benefit to the middle class, and spout slogans written by the woman who wrote this crap about poor Elian Gonzales:

a miracle that when he tired and began to slip, the dolphins who surrounded him like a contingent of angels pushed him upward;

There's Reagan's brain: a science-fiction fantasy that has the Righties yearning for Jack Bauer to take over their world and save them, and take away their Constitutional rights at the same time.

After all, they weren't using them.

And our pundit ends with this:

A Guiliani or Romney candidacy would alter the face of the party at least temporarily and give hope to some of the more moderate elements in the GOP.

From your mouth to God's ears. But not for the reasons you believe.