I'll stand by you

I blogged in June about client & friend Jeff Castelaz and his wife Jo Ann, who lost their beautiful 6 year old son Pablo to cancer. They had already started the Pablove Foundation, not to help themselves, but to raise awareness and money for other victims of pediatric cancer. Read the Mission Statement at the above link, it will bring tears to your eyes and fire to your heart.

(Pablo, a few weeks before his passing)

An avid cyclist, and friend of Lance Armstrong, Jeff decided to turn his sorrow and rage toward the positive, and organized Pablove Across America:

On October 10, 2009, Pablo’s dad, Jeff Castelaz, along with his cycling coach, Rick Babington, will embark on a 3,100 mile ride spanning the entire US. They will start in St. Augustine, FL and in the course of 30 days on their bikes, make their way to Pablo’s grave at Forest Lawn Hollywood Hills in Los Angeles.

Pablove Across America is Jeff’s show of commitment to fighting kids’ cancer—and his need to wring out his soul of its sadness. Along the way, he’ll visit children’s hospitals to connect with cancer kids just like Pablo. He’ll promote cancer awareness on radio, television and in the written press. Anything to drive home the mission of the Pablove Foundation, and to keep Pablo’s spirit and boundless energy alive.

Pablove Across America is about standing up, hammering the pedals, speaking out and FIGHTING back—to raise awareness that kids get cancer, families need help and hope—hope not only to find a cure, but in the day-to-day grind of treatment.

The ride has many corporate sponsers. Here's the video of Jeff & Lance announcing Pablove Across America:



The ride just finished Day 12. Read the blog posts about it at pablove.org/news, especially the daily dedications, like this one:

Baby Luke Piersol is our dedication tonight. He was a brave little boy who Jo Ann, Pablo, Grady and I got to know well in our time at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles. Luke was 16 months old when he passed away on February 1, 2009. His parents Laura and John and sister Grace fought their fight in the same rooms and hallways as us, and we got to know them very well.

Or this one:

Tonight’s dedication goes out to Josh Brestel of Lincoln, Nebraska. He passed away at four years old after two relapses and, in his mom’s words, “too many surgeries to count.” We send our intentions for peace and tranquility to Josh’s family and friends all over the world.

The Castelaz family is working tirelessly to try and help not themselves, but other families and kids who have to fight pediatric cancer. Even in these tough economic times, this is a cause that needs support. They're working hard in hopes that the personal loss and hell they went through won't happen to anyone else.

Remember, as you sit comfortably in your home, that it's always someone else's problem.

Until it happens to you.


Here's their YouTube channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/pablovefoundation

Here's the Get Well Pablo blog: getwellpablo

Here's the ride itinerary: pablove.org/itinerary

I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real

Remember Shepard Fairey, of the iconic Obama campaign poster? Turns out he is friends with Jeff & Jo Ann, the parents of Pablo, the little dude who lost his fight with cancer last week. At the memorial celebration Tuesday night, Shepard's portrait of Pablo was unveiled. Aw, how lovely, you might say. Well, it gets better.

After Jeff introduced Fairey, they held up for all to see both the original photo which inspired the artwork and the new work itself. While hard to see over the standing-room-only crowd, I was able to get a glimpse of the new work. But Jeff, realizing that not everyone could see the new piece, simply handed it into the crowd to pass around so everyone could see. Keep in mind that Fairey prints sell for $400+, and original art commands an astronomical price, yet this act of trust and love seems typical for Pablo's parents.

Having worn their hearts and emotions on their sleeves for so long now, the idea that they trusted people, some of whom they had never met, with a new image of their precious boy, is mind-boggling, yet completely in character. Should such a tragedy ever happen to me and mine, these are the people I would choose as my guides.

Here is what Shepard & Amanda Fairey said about Pablo, along with the portrait:

Pablo is the son of our friends Jeff and Jo Ann. He died of cancer on Saturday, just a few days after his sixth birthday. As parents it is impossible for me and Amanda to imagine facing what Jeff, Jo Ann, and Pablo faced courageously. There is a moving diary of Pablo’s battle with cancer at getwellpablo.blogspot.com. Yes, we all know that cancer affects a huge number of people, but what you see at this blog is a very compelling demonstration that cancer can strike anyone, any age, and no amount of love can cure what science has no cure for yet. People like Pablo remind us why cancer research is so important. You can find out more and make a donation to the Pablove Foundation here: www.pablove.org/donate.html.

I lost my sister Kristin, my Mom, and our friend Lizzie to cancer (and side effects) in the last 7 years. I know, that and $.50 will buy today's LA Times, so prevalent is the disease. Yet Dr. Mascarenhas, Pablo's Oncologist, says we'll have a cure for cancer in the next several years. While this cure will not have helped Mom, Kristin, Lizzie or Pablo, it WILL help untold others who will not die from the awful disease that eats the body, and sometimes even the soul.

So may the universe bless Pablo's Papa & Mommy, Dr. Mascarenhas, Shepard & Amanda Fairey, and all others who's lives are altered by this awful disease.

May you build a ladder to the stars, and climb on every rung, may you stay forever young

I met my hero a few weeks ago.

Most people, knowing I work in Hollywood recording studios, might ask "Wow, did you meet 'insert famous musician's name here' ?"

While I have indeed met and worked with many famous people, the hero I met was a cute 6 year old boy named Pablo.

I'm putting together a new recording studio for an indie record label here in L.A. One of the owners of the label, Jeff, and his wife Jo Ann, have a great son named Pablo. Unfortunately, just over one year ago Pablo was diagnosed with Wilms' Tumor, a rare form of childhood cancer:

Wilms' tumor or nephroblastoma is a tumor of the kidneys that typically occurs in children, rarely in adults. Its common name is an eponym, referring to Dr. Max Wilms, the German surgeon (1867–1918) who first described this kind of tumor.

Approximately 500 cases are diagnosed in the U.S. annually. The majority (75%) occur in otherwise normal children; a minority (25%) is associated with other developmental abnormalities. It is highly responsive to treatment, with about 90% of patients surviving at least five years.

90% survival rate sounds great. Unfortunately, Pablo & his family have been on the roller-coaster ride from Hell for the last year. In and out of the hospital, in and out of chemo, in and out of panic and hope, a trip no one wants to take. You can read the diary of this journey at Pablo's blog: http://getwellpablo.blogspot.com.

Jeff and JoAnn are smart and caring people, and knowing that Pablo's care would be paid for, established a fund to help other cancer-stricken children and their families at Childrens' Hospital of Los Angeles (CHLA), called The PABLove Foundation:

Specifically, the Pablove Foundation will make an annual contribution to cancer research and treatment at CHLA's Saban Research Institute, one of the top cancer research facilities in the United States. It will also support play activities, music and arts programs and sponsor play rooms in the soft tumor units at CHLA. These 'units' are actually entire floors of the hospital, which are filled with brave, beautiful children at any time of the year. A strolling minstrel, a board game, a book, or an art easel bring such joy to the heart of a child whose life has been temporarily reduced to a small hospital room.

Note that this isn't a personal charity; all of Pablo's care is taken care of. But it will really help in the healing and care of many other children fighting pediatric cancer.

I met Pablo at the record company offices a few weeks ago, after reading the blog for a few months. I was more nervous than meeting a rock star, because Pablo is something they aren't: a kid asking for nothing other than to be loved by his family and to have some fun, yet representing a strength and fearlessness that would humble most adults. I introduced myself to him, asked about the bike ride he and his Daddy had gone on the day before, and then we shook hands.



When you donate to The PabLove Foundation, you can get a snazzy yellow bracelet embossed with the logo. I'm wearing mine now, it looks like this:


You will also have the satisfaction of knowing that you're helping the most fragile among us: children with illness. Click on the bracelet to donate, if you feel inclined. Please.


Sadly, I have a confession to make. In all I wrote above I used to present tense verbs 'have' and 'is'. I really should have said 'had' and 'was'. You see, Pablo left us Saturday. The good news is he won't hurt or be afraid anymore. The bad news is his loving family and friends miss him terribly.

Here's Saturday's entry from the Get Well Pablo blog:

Dear friends, Pablo Thrailkill Castelaz passed from this life at 1:30 p.m.

He left this life in the same way he entered it: beautifully, gracefully and in the loving arms of his Mommy and Papa and dear big brother Grady.

He left this life in the middle of his parents' bed - the bed he's grown up in, from day one until today, his final day.

Our family is grateful for your love and light.

From our hearts,

Jo Ann, Jeff and Grady

Pablo doesn't need our help anymore. But many more kids do. According to the National Cancer Institute, 10,400 kids were diagnosed in 2007. And the rate is rising:

Over the past 20 years, there has been some increase in the incidence of children diagnosed with all forms of invasive cancer, from 11.5 cases per 100,000 children in 1975 to 14.8 per 100,000 children in 2004.

If you're a data geek, read the whole short page. While overall cure rates are up, childhood leukemia and brain tumors are on the increase. So more research is needed, and sadly more children will die. If you choose to, please honor Pablo by contributing to The Pablove Foundation, or to your preference of charities.

Pablo's family and the other thousands of families confronting childhood cancer will appreciate it.

Finally, to understand the love and grace of this family, read Jeff's Saturday evening blog post:

We have all wept and wept and wept. At one point I thought I was going to pass out. But this is the purpose of crying and weeping and letting go, isn't it? It's about clearing out. It's about finding the bottom and scrubbing it clean with the tears, the breath, the tornado of release. There is no doubt the sorrow and mourning and tears and gut-wrenching will go on for a long time. But there's also no doubt that our acceptance will grow and take on color and shape and dimension. We're nowhere near that today, of course. But we know that this is the promised land for a family who has lost a boy named Pablo who lived exactly six years and six days.

Read the whole post, please. It's painful & beautiful poetry. And it's full of love, because that's who these people are.

you are the best thing ever happened to me

(Pablo 'Pau' Casals: JSBach Cello Suite in G Maj, Prelude. F'n rock'n'roll!)

Most people reading here know that my day job providing technical support to L.A. recording studios. It's a great job. I learn new things every day, meet some wonderful people, get to solve problems and exercise creative muscles. And I stay involved in the music business.

Right now I'm doing all the wiring and technical installation work for a new studio for Dangerbird Records. Started in '04 by 2 great guys, Peter Walker and Jeff Castelaz, they are doing quite well for an indie label. Please check out the link above to see some of their artists.

All my initial dealings were with Peter. In fact I never even met Jeff until just before the installation started. I just figured he was more involved with the day-to-day running of the label. But then I found out what was distracting him: The Pablove Foundation:

The Pablove Foundation is named after Pablo Castelaz, the five-year-old son of Dangerbird Records co-founder Jeff Castelaz and his wife Jo Ann Thrailkill. On May 17, 2008, Pablo was diagnosed with bilateral Wilms' Tumor, a rare form of children's cancer. The cancer appeared out of nowhere, with no warning signs in Pablo's general demeanor or health. He is currently undergoing treatment at Childrens Hospital Los Angeles, and is doing extremely well. Thanks to decades of research and treatment at places like CHLA, Wilms' Tumor is over 90% curable.

Read the whole thing. Sounds pretty promising, right? Guess again. The Get Well Pablo blog details the latest crises. Pablo had just gotten out of the hospital after his latest round of chemo, when he developed a sudden infection and was rushed to the ER last Wed.:

The fever hasn't really gone down after the first round of fluids and antibiotics. In an effort to cool him, we had to take his shirt off and take the blanket off his body. Not easy when he's shivering. It adds screaming to his repertoire.

Later that day:

Had to stop writing for past 15 minutes. As I was typing P's eyes bulged out of his head and he began to vomit mucous and a bit of blood. This is not a fire drill. There are more docs in here now. They are moving us to a bigger room in the ER. The ICU is full and we may be here for a while.

A tech is in here right now with a giant machine doing an echocardiogram. Another tech is drawing blood from his arm while that's going on. They need to test the gas level in his blood. P's entire body is swollen - out of nowhere. We are all staring at the black and white monitor on the machine, watching Pablo's superstrong little heart pounding away.

Still later the same day:

We are headed to the ICU. The fever has not gone down yet. The docs have him on ice. Pablo is miserable - his blood pressure is low and his heart rate is racing. There are no less than six doctors attending to him, many of whom have become friends of P's and ours over the past 11 months.

We are never in this part of the hospital for anything less than serious stuff. That's why it's called the 'emergency department.' There's something

We do have GREAT news: P's chest x-ray is totally clear. No pneumonia, no fluid and - most significant - no spots. You know Jo Ann and I are not fatalists, but we'd be delusional to not find comfort in the absence of cancer in Pablo's lungs. That's the first place the disease spreads to if it were to recur and spread. We are f**king NOT open to that. But, again, there are facts and we are grateful to have checked one potential issue off the list.

And Wed. night:

Pablo is still in critical condition. He still has fever of 38.4—38.9 Celsius. It's been that high all day. You could cook an egg on P's palm he's so hot. The nurses are literally packing chemical ice packs around his body as he lays in bed. He has the old skool traditional cold wash cloth on his head. Jo Ann and I told him how our mothers used to do that for us, and how much we loved it. He was nonplussed, and seems to hate all the cold stuff up on him.

Readers here know we went through a serious ER-ICU scenario last October, before Mom finally passed. That was tough to deal with, but there was also something expected. Mom was 82, not in great health, and everyone loses their parents eventually.

But I can't begin to imagine what it would be like to try and comfort a seriously ill child, day after day, in and out of the hospital. Jeff and his family and supporters are special people indeed.

Fast-forward to today, and much better news:

we're OUTTA ICU! back on 4 west w/ our FAMILY of docs+nurses+techs. feels soooo good to be here. I'm gonna sleep here again.

4 West, where Pablo knows all the staff, and which is, sadly, his home away from home. Those on Facebook who want to send messages of support, Jeff is: Jeff Castelaz. To follow his updates on Twitter: @dangerbirdjeff.

And Donate to Pablove, please. You get a cool yellow bracelet. For Pablo, for Lizzie, for Kristin, for Mom, for Jane, for victims and especially for survivors of cancer:

(Click here!)

Bonus video: Ray LaMontagne: You Are The Best Thing: