Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Revolution Will Not Be A Podcast


The revolution will not be obtained by pounding back 4 Red Bulls and a breakfast burrito 12 minutes before work starts and hoping the buzz lasts until lunch.

The revolution will not be sung by Bob Geldof, Bono and Al Gore at 110 decibels 75 feet from the stage for 35 dollars a t-shirt, and $2.50 for the bottled water.

The revolution will not be pushed like a downer cow on a forklift into the mass consciousness meat grinder for mental mastication.

The revolution will not be strapped onto a shiny aluminum wing, and dropped upon a rapt citizenry greeting it as a liberator.

The revolution will not be brought to you by anyone who thinks they can put a dollar from your pocket into theirs from it.

The revolution will not be a battle of semiotics, semantics, semi-colons, and who stole which trite stump speech phrase from whom and when.

The revolution will not be handed to you by bank presidents, ex-presidents, or dead presidents as your birthright.

The revolution will not have a zesty catch phrase that will make it easy to 'go viral' on the populace, perhaps with the aid of a nifty jingle or a celebrity pitchman fresh from rehab looking to score.

The revolution will not help you to come to terms with all your traumatic past lives or right the wrongs of previously ignorant generations, but not necessarily those that may include your own bloodline of course.

The revolution will not be on CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, CPAC or anything else that people sit in front of and listen incuriously to other sitting people telling them what to think.

The revolution will not follow Britney Spears around until she does something zany to amuse you.

The revolution will not be downloaded for free and burned to a cheap CD-R as a way of 'sticking it to the man'.

The revolution will not leave a luscious taste in your mouth like cheap lead paint on a Chinese children's toy.

The revolution will not be supported by anyone who has a vested interest in the status quo, or who wants one just like it for Christmas.

The revolution will not be debated seriously by any pundit intent on playing the incessant game of three-card Monte for fun and profit that passes for political discourse in America.

The revolution is not guaranteed under the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Pledge of Allegiance, or the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

The revolution will not be emblazoned across a pair of jiggling chesticles or a deliciously curved rump in order to appeal to your lower nature, nor will it help you to find the ideal mate who is sensitive, caring, yet dynamite in the sack.

The revolution will not be offered as a bonus feature on a director's cut DVD, after the blooper reel.

The Revolution will not be a podcast.

The Revolution will be live.


'Respect to the originator'

Update: To everyone stopping by from Crooks & Liars, thanks! And please click on the "Home" link at the bottom to see what else we do around here.