Waterloo - I was defeated, you won the war

"Sherman, set the WABAC machine for 2010."

"Yes Mr. Peabody. Isn't that the year the American's finally got a watered down version of Universal Health Care that most countries had in full strength for years?"

"Indeed it is Sherman."

[WABAC machine SFX]

[Flashback; WABAC]

Senator DeMint(ed) (R-Ucrazy): “If we’re able to stop Obama on this it will be his Waterloo. It will break him.”

Rep. John Boehner (R-Ohio): Health care passing 'over my dead body.' - March 17, 2010
"You know, I've been telling my staff nine months, 'They can't pass this bill.' And finally my staff wrestled me to the ground last fall and said, 'Mr. Boehner, we have to quit saying this because they're gonna pass this bill.' And I looked at my staff and I said, 'Alright, I'll try to throttle it back a little bit. But it'll be over my dead body.'"

Boehner on "Meet the Press" -- September 20, 2009
"So you think the plan is dead?" asked host David Gregory.
"I think it is," said Boehner.

Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) - March 12, 2008
"I've been being asked that question over the last couple days, and to be honest with you, I don't think they can pass the bill... I don't even think we need to be talking about 'after they pass it' because they don't have the votes right now..."

– Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), Minority Whip, February 24: “Speaker Pelosi doesn’t have the votes in the House. . . . It is futile for for them to continue to try and push something on the American people that frankly won’t result in better health care.”

– Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA), March 5: “Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi doesn’t have the votes needed to pass a health-care bill in the House of Representatives.”

– Rep. John Boehner (R-OH), Minority Leader, March 14: “If she had 216 votes, this bill would be long gone. They tried to pass it in September, October, November, December, January, February. Guess what? They don’t have the votes.”

– Cantor, March 19: “[T]here’s no way they can pass this bill.”

"Gee Mr. Peabody, I don't remember that part!"

"No one does Sherman. Once HCR passed everyone in America had access to health care, mental and physical, and they decided that the crazy, lying, crazy & lying folks who made those statements just needed help. But since treatment is voluntary the poor republicans and teabaggers just eventually spent their days wandering around the Capitol, looking for handouts from the K Street whores, ranting and raving about socialism and black people who don't know their place, and President Hayes."

"Gee Mr. Peabody, aren't there any of them left!?"

"Only one Sherman, poor Rep. Boner. His Congressional lifetime health care has paid for all his organ transplants except his brain. It's such a shame, he still thinks he's pimping for the K Street whores and the president refuses to speak to him."

"You mean ...?

"Yes Sherman, the Mack Senate was censored by the Hayes Commission."


If you thought that was bad, just wait till you see this:

Never mind the bollocks bollards

Downtown bollards mysteriously painted blue

It isn’t yet clear how the two bollards on two corners of Kirkwood Avenue and Walnut Street became blue.

The two 1,400-pound concrete balls were installed in May 2008. One was painted green and the other was purple.

[...]
The bollards were due to be repainted, said city public Works director Susie Johnson. She said city staff had been asked to order new green and purple paint for a pre-graduation weekend touch up.

So let me get this straight, (not to be hard on the scum that coated these balls blue, they did show some spunk), but why didn't the staff of the city realize their balls were flaking until the parents came?

This has been a pubic service announcement.



Cross posted at VidiotSpeak

I'm Burning, I'm Burning, I'm Burning for You

The stupid, it buuuurns!

Conservatives Decry Homeland Security Report on "Rightwing" Extremism

Yesterday, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich tweeted that "The person who drafted the outrageous homeland security memo smearing veterans and conservatives should be fired."

Gingrich was referring to this report prepared by the Department of Homeland Security's Extremism and Radicalization Branch, Homeland Environment Threat Analysis Division, and coordinated with the FBI.

As Fox News has reported, DHS also issued a study of the threat of leftwing extremists (read it HERE.) But the report on the rightwing extremists is the one attracting heat in the conservative bloggosphere, from Gingrich, Michelle Malkin, Powerline, and elsewhere.
[...]
[Dr. James Dobson] said "there are no Timothy McVeighs out there right now. They're making a big deal out of something that hasn't happened and may not happen."

Wow! Instead of condemning these violent, extreme wacko nutjobs the republicans and conservatives are endorsing them! But I guess it's no surprise since the constant drumbeat of politicians and Faux News 'reporters' calling President Obama a fascist & a terrorist, and saying he wants to have death camps'* and 'take our guns away' and outright calling for militias to take over the government. And that's the mainstream morons. BTW, these were the same folks that demanded every lib & Dem to constantly denounce Islamic terrorists ... as if we didn't already.

Let's go to the facts. There are "Timothy McVeighs out there right now": Threats to candidate/President Obama's life

And when the military lowered their recruiting standards for Bush's war (on a country that had nothing to do with al Qaeda or 9/11) so much that felony convicted white, black and brown gang members could join, it's pretty obvious that some of them will come back and rejoin their gangs. Duh.



*Excerpt from Fox News Glenn Beck's program titled:

Debunking Web Myths About FEMA Camps

BECK: OK. One last question: I want to show you — take a look at this picture. Can you put this picture up, please? This is another one. And we're going to have you back tomorrow and — just answer yes or no. Is this — this is what they claim. This is a concentration camp?

MEIGS: Yes, it is.

BECK: It is. Are there atrocities going on in that camp?

MEIGS: There is every reason to believe there is.

BECK: Is this a government-run concentration camp where atrocities — every reason to believe atrocities are going on?

MEIGS: Yes.
[...]
BECK:There is enough out there. We don't need to make stuff up.

At this point I'd almost ask someone to teabag me, not that there's anything wrong with that, but at least my eyes would be covered.

UPDATE: Is it just me or has anyone else noticed a taint on the teabaggers populism?



Cross posted at VidiotSpeak

Testing, Testing, One, Two, Three ... and you're out!

McCain reminds Biden he's been tested in crisis

Republican John McCain told voters in this key electoral state Tuesday he was personally tested by the same kind of crisis that Democratic vice presidential nominee Joseph Biden warned Barack Obama will almost certainly face if elected president.

McCain recalled being ready to launch a bombing run during the October 1962 Cuban Missile Crisis, which Biden said over the weekend tested a new President John F. Kennedy and was the template for the kind of "generated crisis" the 47-year-old Obama would face within six months of taking office.

"I was on board the USS Enterprise," McCain, a former naval aviator, said in the capital city of Harrisburg. "I sat in the cockpit, on the flight deck of the USS Enterprise, off of Cuba.

Why didn't I see this sooner, (hand smack to forehead), a fighter pilot who'd graduated at the bottom of his class and had already crashed 3 multi-million dollar planes was ordered to sit in his cockpit and not do anything is exactly the same as President John F. Kennedy making the decision, his Commander In Chief, who could have ordered him to launch, but solved the crisis thru diplomacy.

Yep, JFK and McSame showed the exact same leadership skillz in the Cuban Missile Crisis. I'm sure sitting on your ass ready to launch is incredibly stressful, especially during potential nuclear war, but I can't understand why he would think it's the same stress as sitting in the Whitehouse, knowing you're also targeted, and having to make the decision to potentially start global thermonuclear war that would wipe out all of mankind.

It's a good thing we had someone calm and presidential instead of a hothead who jokes about bombing other countries.



Cross posted at VidiotSpeak

The Palin-Drone

Peeved? Live Evil De Veep!
(Sorry, it was the best palindrome I could come up with on short notice;-)


Cross posted at VidiotSpeak

Great tits enjoying the warmer weather, blue Boobies not sure where they stand

(h/t to Undeniable Liberal at Maru's place!)

Got Milfs?

pic stolen from here

Mom appalled at racy books in store for teens at Alderwood mall

LYNNWOOD -- Marci Milfs went to Urban Outfitters to find clothes for her teenage son.

She was surprised to find sexually charged books that she believes have no place in a clothing store for teens and young adults.

On one end of the spectrum was "Porn for Women," a photo book showing men doing housework. On the other was "Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults," a guide for making anatomically correct artwork.
[...]
Milfs was so appalled that she is preparing to file a complaint with the city of Lynnwood, and has already aired her frustrations to State Rep. Norma Smith, R-Clinton, and organizations including Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association.
[...]
Milfs doesn't believe the books should be seen by children.

"It's not freedom of speech," she said. "It's selling adult books to teenagers."

Yeeesss, 'adult books' showing men doing housework, (probably found in the fiction section), and 'anatomically correct' origami.

Wow, anatomically correct origami ... just think, a teenager could suffer la petit mort by a thousand paper cuts!

And yes, I did wonder if this article was, ahem, pulling my leg. I mean, Marci Milfs!? The last time I saw a name like that it was on the marquee of the Pink Pussycat theatre. But I called the reporter, who was very gracious, and he said he'd checked her out, (no pun intended), and his editor had checked her and her story out.

OK, enough of this frivolity, now back to our regularly scheduled programming.



Cross posted at VidiotSpeak

Caption Contest

If you're the winner you get a year's free supply of SteveAudio!

My humble offering: "Shovel faster Laura, it's getting deep in here!"

UPDATE:We have a wiener!:
'Poor Miss Beasley, shouldn't have gotten in front of drunk Dick on a duck hunt - I hope she had time to apologize to him'

;>)
darkblack

"Um, where did we bury that 8-ball?"
SteveAudio

Bush: "What? More casualties in Iraq? My arms are already tired from the first 4000. How many more of these things am I going to have to dig?"
Dave

Laura: No, I DON'T find it funny you gave Barney a whole bottle of Ex-Lax!
ellroon

Oh, $hit! Don't dig too deep! This is where we buried Jimmy Hoffa!
-----
Uh, Laura, how tall did you say you were, uh I meant are, how tall ARE you?!
-----
Are you sure we can dig this deep enough to bury all those missing e-mails?
-----
You haven't told Barney his time is up have you?
-----
Well, another "undisclosed location" for cheney, but let's try to keep him there this time.
-----
I'll be damned! Is there really a head underneath that powdered wig?
-----
Dig faster! Pelosi is coming for lunch and I promised I'd bury her ass!
Bill Arnett

And the number one caption prize goes to Ramona!

Finally proving useful at something, Bush digs his own grave.

Thanks Ramona, you win a free supply of SteveAudio & VidiotSpeak for a year!

Second prize goes to Bill Arnett for multiple snarkalicious entries.

Everyone else gets an honorable mention.

Oh baby, I'll take you down

Update below!
Caption contest time!

My humble offerings:
Even the Russian judges gave this a 10.0!
I can't wait to see the dismount.
Is that a bottlenose or are you just happy to see me?

The Comments!

Although dolphins are one of the smartest animals on earth, they too are not immune to pro wrestling.
Mike Henderson | Homepage | 01.17.08 - 6:43 am | #
********
...in a press release issued afterwards, the U.S. Navy insisted they were Iranian dolphins swimming in a taunting manner in their ship's path and the sailors distinctly heard one of them say before they fired upon them "I am coming at you...you will explode in a few minutes".
Dancin' Dave | 01.16.08 - 9:42 pm | #

********
Dammit, Myra! I told you to hang on to the bed!
SteveAudio | Homepage | 01.16.08 - 9:24 pm | #
*******
'We have lift off!"

"Is that a herring you are hiding?"
Bustednuckles | Homepage | 01.16.08 - 1:01 pm | #

'Frank, I told you not to order the chili diablo!'
The Sailor | 01.16.08 - 12:01 am | #
********
'Pfizer wishes you Happy Holidays'

;>)
darkblack | Homepage | 01.15.08 - 11:00 pm

Cross posted at VidiotSpeak