Tuesday, July 10, 2007

I'm here to get my baby out of jail

(graphic by Dancin' Dave)

George W. Bush:
"I respect the jury's verdict. But I have concluded that the prison sentence given to Mr. Libby is excessive. Therefore, I am commuting the portion of Mr. Libby's sentence that required him to spend 30 months in prison.... My decision to commute his prison sentence leaves in place a harsh punishment for Mr. Libby. The reputation he gained through his years of public service and professional work in the legal community is forever damaged. ...The consequences of his felony conviction on his former life as a lawyer, public servant and private citizen will be long-lasting."

[On a warm, humid Texas evening, we see two men sitting comfortably on porch. The sound of crickets chirping out to potential mates is broken as they speak:]

Bush: “You know, I really hated to punish you like that… you know, commuting your jail sentence and all.”

Libby: “I guess you just did what you had to do. I know I certainly deserved such a cruel fate for my crimes. Jail would have been too easy, too lenient.”

Bush: “And now you are left to the worst punishment that could be meted out… to have to wallow in your shame… your guilt… your conscience.”

Libby: [shudders] “As a good, decent Christian man, to force me to not go to jail and to instead lie awake at night crying my eyes out is the harshest punishment I could possibly have been given.”

[Libby’s head drops down into his hands as a sob escapes his lips and his head shakes back and forth. He pauses for a moment and peeks up over at Bush. A twinkle sparkles in his eye as he winks and his lips tremble into a smile]

Libby and Bush: “BWAA HAA HAAA HAA HA HA HAAAA!!!!”

Bush: “Heh heh, for a second you almost had me going there!”

Libby: “Hell, I almost had myself believing it!

Bush: [wiping the tears from his eyes] “Gotta love this executive privilege crap.”

Libby: “Yep. Now, could you pass me another beer from the cooler so I can drown the painful gnawing of my soul?”

[Laughter fills the rest of the Texas night]