Thursday, August 09, 2007

Somebody get me a doctor. Oh yeah! Somebody give me a shot

Bush Treated for Lyin' Disease. Recovery in Doubt

Washington, DC - President Bush has Lyin' disease and the White House kept it secret claiming it wasn't worth reporting.
It was revealed only when the White House made public all the results of Bush's annual physical exam on Wednesday. It showed up in the "past medical history" section .
"The president has been a victim of this condition for quite some time", said his personal physician, who requested anonymity, Dr. Walter L. Andrews "It's not something he really likes to discuss."
Lyin' disease is a tick-borne infection (scientific name Cheneycephalus sanguineus, also called the "Dick Tick") that, if left untreated, can cause difficulty with concepts such as truth, facts and reality. Symptoms can include problems with speaking coherently, a deer-in-the-headlights stare, loss of sincerity, sudden outbursts of blatant stupidity and, of course, an almost chilling ability to tell outrageous whoppers with a straight face. A bacterial disease, it can be eradicated with antibiotic treatment in the early stages, but can become more complicated to treat if not caught early.
With that, the question was brought up as to how early did the doctors feel they had caught the problem. Dr. Andrews wasn't hopeful.
"Unfortunately, if his latest press conference was any indication, he is far beyond the reach of even the most powerful antibiotic available today."
The doctor added, "I mean, for him to counter the question of a need to rebuild our infrastructure with more corporate tax cuts and the war in Iraq actually protecting us from terrorists ... well, my own conclusion would have to be this president is terminal."
Cheneycephalus sanguineus (Dick Tick), identified by it's ugly thoracic markings which are meant to frighten off enemies

[graphics by Dancin' Dave]