Oh yeah, oh yeah Siren Sarah; She talks really quick, but thinks really slow

Bump and Update: Sarah Failin' Found Guilty:

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin violated ethics laws and abused her power as governor in pressing to have her former brother-in-law fired as a state trooper, an independent legislative investigation concluded today.

In a report whose release was the subject of a high-stakes political showdown that went all the way to the Alaska Supreme Court, investigator Stephen Branchflower concluded that Palin communicated her displeasure with the trooper, Mike Wooten, and allowed her husband to apply pressure to have Wooten fired.

Original post: At first I thought this headline was from The Onion:

Palin Pre-empts State Report, Clears Self in Probe

Trying to head off a potentially embarrassing state ethics report on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, campaign officials released their own report Thursday that clears her of any wrongdoing.

Geebus! These people not only have Irony spinning in his grave, they've just killed Satire too!

And while we wait for the Alaskan lawmakers to release the findings of their probe that was stonewalled, let's review just a couple of the lowlights of the timeline:

The Sarah Palin - Troopergate Timeline: A Sordid Trail of Corruption, Squalor and Lies

[...]
July 28, 2008

The Alaska Legislative Council - a bipartisan panel composed of 10 Republicans and 4 Democrats – authorized, by unanimous vote, a probe into the “Troopergate” allegations.
[...]
July 31, 2008

In a CNBC interview [...] Sarah Paln responded to questions on Troopergate, saying that she looked foward to an investigation into the charges against her
[...]
August 13, 2008

An audio tape surfaces, proving Monegan’s claims that — while he was never directly told by Palin or anyone to fire Wooten — he was contacted many times by Palin, members of her administration and her husband, Todd Palin in calls and emails that raised issues about Wooten’s employment.
[...]
September 16, 2008

McCain campaign lawyers try to either end the investigation or delay it until after the election. Former Justice Department prosecutor Edward O’Callaghan, now working for the McCain campaign, told reporters that Palin was “unlikely to cooperate” with the Alaskan legislative inquiry into Monegan’s firing because it had been “tainted” by politics. O’Callaghan stated that the McCain campaign was directing an aggressive legal strategy to shut down a pre-election ethics investigation.

Yeah, the probe was tainted & partisan because eight 10 republicans and 4 democrats voted unanimously to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate her unethical conduct.

Read the whole thing as we wait for the Alaskan lawmakers to release the (stonewalled by John McCain's team of lawyers that airdropped into Alaska) report.