They'll stone ya when you are young and able

(That's Deryk on the left, looking...well, stoned.)

Here's more about Dr. Laura's son, that should make mommy dearest very proud. In 2004, he took Mom's money and opened a Hookah Bar:

The first experience most students probably had with a hookah was watching the caterpillar swarthily blow smoke vowels from one in Disney's Alice in Wonderland.

Former student Deryk Schlessinger will try to make that experience a bit more personal by opening Hillsdale's first hookah bar. The bar is scheduled to open soon after Spring Break in downtown Hillsdale near the old Democratic Party offices.

"We're trying to bring the Middle Eastern culture to Hillsdale," Schlessinger said, from an easy chair beside a 5-foot gold-plated hookah in his Park Place apartment. "Even though that sounds like a big task, we think we can do it through hookahs, a couple tapestries and a fountain."

Dude, are you high? Dave Frank, reporter for the Hilldale Collegian, who wrote the article, was either a Mormon just back from his Mission, or a complete nerd who though "getting high" meant riding a Ferris Wheel.

Come on, please, be serious: "easy chair beside a 5-foot gold-plated hookah in his Park Place apartment" doesn't speak to a reader of classic literature, but a stoner, just like all stoners since the '60s, when Hookahs really became popular.

Seriously, has everyone forgotten all their Cheech & Chong jokes? I'm sure Deryk (by the way, I really detest 'clever' spellings of what should be common words and names) would only offer the finest tobacco at the bar.

But at home? My guess is it was the finest Humboldt grown weed.

Here's the money quote:

"That's one of the easiest ways to pick up chicks-with a hookah," Schlessinger said.

Sad, so sad.