I know it’s true, oh so true, ’cause I saw it on tv.

Is this thing on?



[tap] [tap] [feedback screech]



OK, can you all hear me?



Ahem.



OK, I'm here today to make an announcement.


Here goes.


Ahem.


To Dan Abrams and all the other gasbags on the teevee who insist on talking about John Edwards' affair:


[cough]


OK, SHUT THE F**K UP ALREADY! THERE"S REAL BAD SH*T GOING ON EVERYWHERE! TALK ABOUT THAT!

TALK ABOUT MCCAIN WANTING TO ATTACK RUSSIA!

TALK ABOUT IRAQ!

TALK ABOUT THE CRAPPY ECONOMY!

TALK ABOUT CHENEY'S OFFICE FORGING MEMOS!

TALK ABOUT SOMETHING REAL! YOU BASTARDS!


Alright, thanks everyone.