Friday, December 14, 2007

Would Jesus wear a Rolex on His television show

Just heard on Larry King (yeah, I know, what should I expect):
Larry King: Why are there 2 CDs?

Toby Keith: Because there are 10 Christmas songs, and 10 Christian Christmas songs.

Gawd, what a smug tool! So Mel's great Christmas song that says "Merry Christmas to you" isn't Christian? Just because it doesn't say "Holy Jesus my Lord and Saviour" it isn't Christian? Why the f**k would you say "Merry Christmas" if it wasn't, you know, Christmas, which is, you know, baby Jesus' birthday?

As Pam says, "I'm up to here with Christians!" Well, certainly the smug, self-righteous ones. Kids, here's a memo from God:
Public Prayer
Matthew 6:5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Private Prayer
Matthew 6: 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Matthew 23: Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater damnation.

Scripted Prayer
Matthew 6:7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

Natalie Maines had it right: F.U.T.K.

BTW, here's the MP3 of Ray Stevens singing "Would Jesus Wear a Rolex?":